Aurora has been having a hard time lately. She is acting out (hitting, pulling hair, biting, etc.) and throwing a major fit when she doesn't get her way. I think part of it is being 4, but I worry that part of it comes from being the middle child and not really knowing where her place is.
Towards the end of the school year when Guy and Cinderella were talking to each other about things that had happened at school Aurora would start making up things that happened at "her" school. I could tell she was trying to find a way to include her self with the older kids. However they quite often place her with the babies, and exclude her , telling her she isn't old enough for something. I am sure this is quite frustrating for her and is at least part of what started her acting out.
Lately she has a hard time leaving my side. She doesn't like to go to primary and fights me, screaming when I leave her. She fights going to bed, hurts anyone else when they try to play with Baby..... She is getting to be down right mean.
Today she was getting into some toys she knew she wasn't supposed to be playing with right then, pointed out she was doing something wrong, and then asked me if she was being a "nasty girl". I don't know where she is getting these ideas, and I am afraid she is starting to get pleasure out of being bad. And trying to get attention for being bad. I try not to give her lots of attention for it, but at the same time, I need to enforce consequences.
Any suggestions on what to do with a middle child, or a child going through a rebellious faze, or just wanting to belong and being mean to get what they want? (Did that even make sense?)
3 comments:
Give her some one on one mommy daughter time once a day or once a week. Make her feel special. Enroll her in preschool this fall. Maybe instead of focusing on her bad behavior, focus on how it is harming the people she loves. Show her how she is hurting her family because of her actions. Get her dad to distract her from you after sacrament meeting and have him take her to primary. Or get an older primary kid or babysitter she is used to, to take her to primary. I hope that will help. I am just throwing out ideas, I haven't had to deal with that kind of problem yet.
I am a middle child and Bella is my middle child. We give Bella WAY more attention than our other kids because she needs it so bad. She gets more one on one time. I think the best thing you can do is give her EXTRA love and attention, especially when she isn't being naughty.
It makes a lot of sense! I experienced this with my middle child, who was Aurora's age a year ago. Last year, it was horrid. Fortunately, I feel she has mostly outgrown that stage.
Squeezing in a little one-on-one time (even if it's just 5 minutes) helps. Daily if possible, but maybe try to aim for a couple times a week. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. Sing a song she picked, hold her on your lap and read her a book.
Also, giving her something small that she is consistently responsible for (such as wiping off the table every evening) so you have an opportunity to praise her good work.
They do outgrow this stage.
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