Friday, March 24, 2017

Big Changes, Little Time

We are going through some big changes in our family right now, and as is usually the case for us, when those kinds of things happen, we are so busy living we don't have much time to write about it.

For a long time I have felt like we didn't have all the children we are supposed to have.  However the hubs and I have agreed that I am done with pregnancy.  I wasn't sure how to reconcile these mixed ideas, until I approached the hubs about it shortly before we moved from Texas.

He suggested that maybe we could look into doing foster to adopt.  At the time he had a boss who had just adopted some foster children, and when we lived in Utah before we had some friends who had also adopted foster children.  This being an idea we had both been exposed to, it didn't seem that strange of an idea, and the seed of an idea was planted in our minds.

After we moved, we were feeling lost, and missing Texas.  It took us a while to remember that we had had that idea.  Then it took us a while to act on it.  Finally last fall we spoke to the Utah foster care representative for our area.  He got us hooked up with the information we needed to decide if we really wanted to take this path.  Part of that information was some classes we needed to take.  These classes seemed like a great undertaking.  They were most of the weeknights for 3 weeks.  They ran from 5:30-9:30 PM, and we were told not to bring ANY children with us.  This meant we had to figure out childcare on weeknights.  Not the easiest endeavor, and we let a few months pass.  Finally I decided we just needed to make it happen.  We asked family and some of the teenagers who live near us, and were able to secure sitters for each night.

Another of the requirements we need to meet to do foster care is to have a housing situation that has enough space and is a safe enough environment according to the DCFS.   The space situation is measured in bedroom size and the number of children occupying each room, and their genders.  You can have no more than 4 children per room, and the room has to have at least 40 square feet per child.  You may not have boys and girls share a room together.  However these rules only apply to the foster children.  You can do what you want with your kids.

Well when you have a 4 bedroom house, and you already have 5 kids, your options are limited.  We looked into what it would take to make modifications to our home to make it easier to take in more kids.  Those ideas included finishing our playroom into a bedroom, remodeling the kitchen to give more workspace making it easier for kids to help,and to have enough space to store all that is needed for a larger family, and adding on a dining room to the back of the house.  Our current dining area barely fits our table as it, and is rather uncomfortable.  Having to put another leaf in the table to expand it so that we could fit more kids would be rather tricky.

As we looked into what we would need to do to turn the playroom into a bedroom, we discovered that due to current  building codes we would need to cut through the foundation to make the window larger and lower.  Not an impossible task, but difficult.  A kitchen remodel would take a while and a lot of funds, as would the dinning room addition.  It was something that I wanted, but had trouble feeling at peace with.

We even considered the idea of buying a different house.  We looked around a bit, but nothing felt right.  We were feeling lost.  

Then during our second to last session of class there was a family who came in to talk to the class.  This family is made up of various foster children who have been adopted.  As they talked I got the feeling that our current house might work for us to start with, but eventually we would need a bigger house.  And that maybe the Lord had more children in mind for us to benefit than I had imagined.  

After that class, the hubs and I talked and I got the idea he had similar thoughts to me.  That weekend we were able to get some time alone, and got to talking.  We admitted that moving was an option, but we didn't want to uproot the kids more than necessary.  We prayed for the Lord's guidance, and mentioned that we were considering a few homes that were for sale, or had the potential to be on the market in the near future.  The hubs mentioned a house that I wasn't aware of.  He had noticed it a few months back, as a for sale by owner, and it was still on the market.

Any time he looked at that house, he would see the price tag and look away.  This time we decided to look at the listing together.  It was listed for more than we had ever thought of spending on a house, but we kept looking.  The first few pictures in the listing were a floor plan.  I love looking at floor plans, but it isn't the hubs forte.  He usually prefers pictures and looking in person.  This time though he told me the floor plan really stood out to him.  We really liked the pictures we saw as well.  We decided to see if we could get an appointment to go see the house, and saw it later that day.

For me, just walking through the house, something felt amazingly right about it.  I just knew we should buy that house.  I told  the Hubs so, but I don't think it sank in to him at that point.  He was still accepting the price.  He felt like there was no way we could qualify for it.

Later that day I requested info from a mortgage company, in the Hubs name, because he is the breadwinner.  By Monday he had decided we couldn't afford the house and should just forget about it.  Then the mortgage company called.  Asked a few questions, and told him we could probably qualify.  He was blown away.

We then took the steps to get pre-qualified, and found that our current house was in the way.  We could only qualify if we sold our home, and closed on it first, or if we had renters sign a lease, and give us a deposit.  Plus we had 6 months rent in savings.    To me, it felt impossible.  However I felt like we shouldn't give up.  We both felt like selling our house was impossible.  There are so many flaws we should fix before we put it on the market, it would take forever.  So we considered the renting option.

Meanwhile we decided to look at some more houses on the market.  None of them felt right.  None of them clicked the way the other home had.  I knew I wanted to buy that home, but didn't see a way.  Well we prayed and fasted that the Lord would guide us to whatever His will for us was.  Then I had an idea.  The owners of the home we wanted to buy were looking for a place to rent while they built another house for themselves.  What if they rented our house?

We proposed the idea to the owners on a Friday.  The wife seemed to like the idea,  the husband was more unsure.  On Sunday, I had the feeling I didn't need to worry about it.  I took that to mean that they would rent from us.  I was wrong.

Monday the Hubs got a message from someone in our church group.  They had heard that we might be putting our home on the market and wondered if he and his wife could come look.  They came on Tuesday, and on Wednesday told us they were working on drafting an offer.  On Friday we submitted an offer on the home we want to buy, and now we are in the process of figuring all that out, and buying that house.

It is crazy, but I can also see how it has all fallen into place.  I believe it is because we are trying to do what we feel the Lord wants us to do.  We are willing to do our part, and He is guiding us because of it.

Much of the lost feeling I had after leaving Texas has flown.  I still miss the people and the place, but I know I have a purpose here.  And the Lord will guide me where He needs me if I am teachable and willing to do hard things.