Today I want to talk about an idea I am calling a circle of support. This is an idea I got from talking with a therapist recently. I don't remember her term, so that is the term I am using. My definition for circle of support is the people who you regularly turn to to meet the needs you have in your life. My therapist showed me a diagram with a center circle (me) and a bunch of circles coming off. She said each of these circles are people you turn to in different needs. For example, if my car brakes down who do I call? If I want to talk, who do I go to? If l need help or want to reach out for one reason or another who fits in that circle.
Anyway, as I was evaluating my circle I came to realize that with the way I currently live my life (and I know Covid does affect some of this) most of my circles only have my husband in them. There are a few my neighbor is in, and a couple of friends fill in in a few of the other spots. But mostly it is just the hubs. Now this isn't a healthy setup. If he can't help me, or if he is already buried under his own load of stress, then I am left feeling like I am in a sinking ship.
Now I know that in reality there are other people in my life who could go in those circles. But I don't live my life that way. One of my biggest fears is being a burden on someone. So I try to manage as much as I can, by myself. Which really is a recipe for disaster.
I have come to realize that right now with the limits we have on interaction due to the need to social distance, the people who I see most in my life, who don't live in my household, are therapists, and the staff at the school. These people are great, but honestly they aren't the kind of people who you just call to chat, or get together with to have fun. Ya know? So I have been trying to think of what ways I can' extend my circles.
The hubs has a group that he gets online with about once a week to play a role-playing game over zoom. This has been really good for him. I have found myself wondering if there is some kind of group I can join or start that meets online regularly (preferably more often than once a month,) that I could get together with. It doesn't have to be playing some kind of game. It could be just chatting, it could be a book group, or maybe something I haven't even thought of.
So I am wondering. Does anyone have any ideas? Is this a problem in any of your lives as well, that you would be interested in joining something to get more social interaction, and increase your circle of support? Is this a need others are trying to solve? Any other thoughts?
