Is this only the 1st day?

So today was our test run.  If you can call it that.  The two older kids had an hour and a half of school this morning.  I then picked them up, and we went to the doctors office for Aurora's and Baby's well child check ups.  Then I took the kids to a park that isn't too far from the doctors office.  I had packed a picnic lunch of ham and cheese tortilla rolls, sliced apples, bags of chips and water bottles.  Unfortunately at the park it was overcast, kind of drizzly and cold.

We played for an hour, but it kept threatening rain, and I had a hard time keeping Spike where I could see him.  It was almost 12 so I figured we should have lunch, but I wasn't sure how long the weather would hold out.  So we packed up and came home.

Cinderella had gone on some spinny thing at the park, and made her stomach feel queasy   She continued feeling so on the way home.  I passed her back a shoe box, in case she needed to throw up.  It was the only container I could find.

At home there was still sunshine, and it felt warm, so I spread the picnic blanket on our front lawn, put Baby in his bed, and we had our picnic at home.  Cinderella still felt a little sick, so she just lay down on the blanket and munched on potato chips and apples.  Baby was screaming this whole time because he wanted to eat, but I felt like I needed to wrap things up with the other kids before I took care of him.  I got them done with their lunch, and settled with quiet time boxes.  This was our first day to have the full fledged boxes, and I had high hopes.  Too high I think.

After getting them started on quiet time, I went and fed Baby, put him down for a nap, and then went and lay down.  I hadn't been laying down for more than 5 minutes, when Aurora came and opened my door.  She saw I was taking a nap and left, however I was thinking about a conversation I had had with the hubs earlier today, and decided that what I really needed to do during that time was sit down at the computer and get our financial records in order.  We have been terrible about keeping a budget and running numbers on our accounts.  In coming down stairs I found Guy and Aurora playing together.  Aurora then told me she was done with her quiet box, and she wanted my attention.

Guy also told me that he felt like it wasn't fair that Aurora got a whole box, and all he got were legos.  I guess I need to do some revamping on the boxes.  I gave Aurora a few more items, and got her involved again, only to sit down to the computer and have the timer for quiet time ring.  It was set for an hour.   I then had to go and help the kids clean up their boxes, and the kids wanted to move on to the next item on our "schedule".  At this point one child per day has the opportunity to get some one on one time with me.  5 kids, 5 weekdays, 1 kid each day.  Today was Guy's turn.  To keep the other kids occupied while I am interacting with one kid, I let the others play the computer.  Guy and I had a fun time building a swimming pool out of duplos.  By the time that hour was up, Spike had woken up from his nap and was demanding my attention.  He then continued to demand my attention until the hubs got home from work, and we had dinner.  During that time Spike helped me do things, but I had to go about doing them in the style of a 2 year old, which definitely takes longer.

After dinner, I fed Baby again,  cleaned up part of dinner, and then we watched the second half of "Fiddler on The Roof" as a family, and then it was time to put the kids to bed.

Needless to say, I am worn out.  I want to be a fun mom.  I want to be involved with my kids.  I just don't know how to find a middle ground.  It's either all or nothing.  All wipes me out, and nothing makes me feel like a slacker, and I have kids who go around whining that they are bored, they have nothing to do, or they are getting into mischief.