Another request for advice...

Cinderella is getting to be impossible lately. I know we all have different parenting styles, but apparently mine isn't working in this case, so I want to know what you would do.

I am more than willing to pick my battles, but there are three things I won't stand for, but I'm not sure what consequences she should have. So far nothing really fazes her.

1. Hitting and spitting. OK so this one came about because I swatted her a few times. Never really hard, but it was a hit. So now when she gets upset she hits. If she doesn't like something that I do, she hits me. At first I enforced one day of no movies for each time she hit me. True we were at the point that she wasn't watching that many movies anymore anyway, but just the saying "OK you can't watch any more movies today", then tomorrow and so on for each hit, seemed to do some good at first. I could see her think about it for a while, and then hit the air, or the couch or something that wasn't a person. But then one day she just got really mad. She didn't want to leave the zoo, and she really started whacking me. She got up to a week and a half of no movies before I got her to stop. And after that she just really didn't seem to care. And if she doesn't hit, she spits in my face. This level of disrespect is something that I don't think I should have to tolerate, but I don't know how to handle it. Anytime I try to discipline her she says I'm frustrated and thinks that gives her reason to be unkind, and she says she is frustrated to, and starts pitching a fit.
   
2. Bullying her brother. Guy dishes out as good as he gets most of the time, and I try to let them handle most of their squabbles themselves. But lately Cinderella, has realized that Guy can't open doors. So she takes what ever he is playing with that she wants away from him, then runs down the hall to the playroom and slams the door shut before he can come it. I have a problem with this for 2 reasons. 1 is that fingers can get shut in doors. And 2 I don't think it is fair to treat someone unkindly in a way that they can't defend themselves, that is just bullying.
3. Going to bed. Lately for some reason she has this issue with going to bed. She doesn't want to go to bed in her room. She doesn't have any problems falling asleep on our couch, if my husband or I are in the living room, or on our bed if one of us is in the bedroom. We tried leaving her door open, which works sometimes but not all the time. Lately she has decided she should climb into Guy's crib. I try to ignore it and let it go, but tonight, my husband had gone to a meeting and Guy was really tired. He went to bed about 6:30, which I knew was too early for Cinderella. So I let her lie on my bed next to me, and quietly look at books. Well she reached a point that she wasn't lying quietly so I told her she needed to go to her bed. She refused, so I picked her up and carried her in, then shut the door. Well her door has a child safety nob on it, so she couldn't get it open. So she proceeded to scream for me until she had woken up Guy. I went and got her and talked to her about it, then put her back in bed. She wasn't happy about it but went and cried. She stayed in there until Daddy got home. Then she came out. It felt like a circus getting her back in her bed, but we finally did. A while later, I heard Guy crying and the crib banging against the wall. I went in there and Cinderella was in the crib lying on top of Guy who was still trying to sleep. I was so frustrated. It was all I could do to pull her out and not get really mad at her. I don't know what to do. I don't think it is fair to Guy to have to wake him up and move him because his sister is being a pest climbing into his bed.
   

Anyway, this probably isn't as big of a deal as it feels at the moment. But I thought I'd ask for advice. So what would you do if if was your kid?

Taking Pictures

So I don't know why, but it seems when ever I try to get a picture of both kids together in a picture, they get really crazy, and I am lucky to get a decent picture out of the whole thing.
I think I got this one taken before my husband go the video camera out, but take a look at what it was like.

Vroom, Vroom

Guy loves cars. I think they are one of his favorite things. He loves to look out the windows of our apartment that face the parking lot. He will stand there and say "car" and "vroom, vroom". His favorite toys to play with lately, are also vehicles. Cinderella has a little people bus, and airplane, and Guy has a little people digger. Those three toys can entertain him for hours.

Attached

So Guy is an interesting kid. When he was born he was content to suck his thumb. Personally I am not a fan of thumb sucking, so I replaced the thumb with a "plug" whenever I saw it in his mouth. Since that time he has become quite attached to his "plug". If I don't hide them, he feels the need to have one constantly in his mouth. Especially when he is teething. Well that has it's pluses and minuses. He isn't a very quiet kid when he doesn't have the plug in. Which is OK except at church.
On Mother's Day, we forgot the plug, and didn't have any in the diaper bag either. It made for a long and emotional day. Mother's day was also my first day not in primary, for over a year. When I was teaching primary, if Guy started acting up, we just had to try to get him to be quiet, but ignore it, as much as possible. I had forgotten, how it is in different church meetings.
We were in Sunday School, when he started acting up. We were sitting in the back, and all the doors are in the front of the room. I didn't want to cause more of a disruption by taking him out. So I just tried to shush him. I pulled out books for him to look at, I tried to give him snacks. Nothing would get him to be quiet. He was tired and felt the need for his plug. So finally I took him out. Only to be greeted in the foyer by a woman, who I don't know, asking me if Guy was the loud one. I replied that he had been loud, and she told me she was glad that I had finally taken him out, and now she could go back to the meeting. He had been very distracting. I apologized, and felt terrible. Since that time, I always make sure I have a plug in the diaper bag, as well as one in his mouth, and take him out the moment he starts making noise.

Well his plug isn't all he is attached to, but that is what it started with. When my sister and her son came and visited, the second attachment started. My nephew is attached to a blanket, and a blanket duck, that he needs when he sleeps. Well because his cousin had something, Guy felt the need for something. He has a dog, that he picked up and started totting around with, when he was getting tired, and he wanted in his bed at nap, and bedtime. And so the attachment to the dog started. Well my husband thought that we would be in a world of hurt if we couldn't find the dog. So he attempted to build up another attachment.
The bear. My parents gave Guy a stuffed bear for his first Easter. Daddy started giving Guy the bear when he would put him down, along with the dog, to see if we could build an attachment there. Well we did. He now has to have both the dog and the bear when he goes to bed. Although I think there are times we can get by without one or the other.

Well about a week ago, Guy pulled one of Cinderella's blankets off her bed. It is a really soft fluffy blanket. He carried it around the house, and would throw it down on the floor, then lay on it. I figured he must be tired, but I didn't want his sister to get upset about the blanket, so I promptly found a different soft fluffy blanket, and traded him. Well now he is VERY attached to the blanket, however he is flexible, in that it just needs to be a soft fluffy blanket, not a particular one.

The other morning, I went to get him after he had woken up. I pulled him out of the crib, and he motioned that he wanted something that was still in his bed. So I put him back down, and he grabbed his blanket. I carried him to the table, where we were starting breakfast. I put him in his highchair, and he insisted that blanky needed to come too.

He didn't want to give it up. I finally traded him "blanky" for a pancake. He wasn't happy about it. But accepted the trade. (Maybe because he had no choice.) But he promptly picked up blanky as soon as he was freed from his chair. So now nap time, is quiet the ordeal. With bear, doggy, and blanky. Oh well at least he sleeps.

Perspective

So the weather has been nasty this year. Gray skies and cooler temperatures have covered our corner of the nation. And I've been pretty negative about it lately, letting it get to me. Until about 3 days ago. I saw something that put it all in perspective for me, and helped me realize how much I am blessed.

I don't do a very good job of reading the newspaper, and we don't have TV in our home, so sometimes I am quite sheltered about what is going on in the world around me. Well on Wednesday, I was in a grumpy mood, and was tired of cold weather. I decided I wanted to see what the weather was like where my parents live, and see if they had better weather than we did.
So I went to Weather.com and what I saw was a real eye opener.

The page that loads when you type in weather.com lists all of the weather news stories. I had no clue about the flooding that Iowa was going through. I watched videos of people who had been evacuated from their homes because of floods. I saw homes being destroyed as flood waters rushed past. I saw a man cleaning out his home of 65 years. Pretty much everything had been ruined from the storm.

And it keeps getting worse. Today I watched one that said 400 city blocks under water. Thousands of people evacuated from their homes. Many without flood insurance, because they thought they lived far enough away from the river to be safe.

Then there are all the tornadoes that have been ripping through the Midwest. So many people are losing their homes, or having their homes damaged, or even just having to be evacuated from their homes.

For me, it makes gray clouds not that bad to deal with. At least I have my home.

Counting

Do you like how Cinderella counts? I thought it was hilarious.

The Grouchy Ladybug

The last time we went to the library we checked out The Grouchy Ladybug, by Eric Carle. Cinderella loved to read it and make the "grouchy" voice. So I had to record it. Hope you enjoy.

Communication

So Guy is learning to communicate pretty well. He doesn't say much, but he knows how to get his point across. Sometimes it amazes me what I understand.

For instance, last night, Daddy was getting Guy in his PJ's. And Guy was pitching a fit. I came in to see if Daddy needed any help, and started talking to Guy. I asked him if he was upset because he had lost his "pluggy" and didn't know where it was. He instantly stopped crying, while I went on a pacifier search. My husband asked me, "how did you know that was what he wanted?" I have no idea how I knew. Maybe it is because he is decidedly attached to that thing. He thinks he constantly has to have it in his mouth. Even when he is eating. He takes it out of his mouth, puts some food in, followed by the plug. Anyway, so part of it is just knowing him, I guess.

He has also started shaking his head, no. But I haven't completely figured out what that one means, and I'm not sure he knows either. Sometimes it means "no", but sometimes it means "yes".


He also does a pretty good job understanding you. He loves people and loves to say "hi".



Sometimes when I have the kids in the stroller, and am out walking, as soon as he sees someone coming our way, his hand starts waving. He is such a happy energetic boy. I love having him in my family.

Sing a song

Christmas 2006, Cinderella received a book from Aunt B. It is one of those books that you push buttons, and it makes noises. But the noises it makes are the accompaniments to primary songs. (Songs that are approved for our church's children's program .) Cinderella loved the book. As soon as she opened it, she had no interest in opening any of her other presents. She just wanted to look at the book.

Since that time, this book has been well loved. It is played so often that we have already replaced the batteries at least once. Cinderella loves to sing, and so she will turn on the book, and sit there singing along with it. I recorded her singing her songs, and have a nice little concert for you, so sit back and enjoy the show.



I'd say the book was a hit. Thanks, Aunt B.

The benefit to walking at the mall.

The play area. The kids love it. One of the malls that we went to had a Dinosaur themed play area, and I took some pictures.

There was this large egg, that was supposed to look like it was cracking, with holes that kids head and hands can fit through. Both kids enjoyed playing in that one.

They also have these steps that are supposed to look like brick, (think they are probably cement), that go about 3- 3 1/2 feet high. Guy loves stairs lately. He got to the top and stood there and yelled, at anyone else who was up there,

until I showed him how to go down the slide. Once I showed him he was ll for it.
It was quite funny to watch, because he would always go down feet first on his tummy, and scrunch up like a frog. I kept trying to get a picture but he would go so fast, that by the time the picture took, he would be all the way down the slide. So I got a video. Hope you enjoy it.

The day the camera died....

So this morning I was sitting down to write my weekly e-mail that I send out to family. I picked up the camera, and pushed the "on" button to see if I had any pictures on it that needed to be loaded to the computer. The camera turned on, but the screen stayed black, and no lights came on. It was like it was off, except the lens was out and open. I tried to push different buttons, but got no response. I then tried turning it off. Still no response. My mind started going through the worst case scenario. The camera is dead, we won't be able to get out any pictures to anyone, we'll have to spend lots of money to get it fixed or buy a new one, what ever will we do?

So I went and woke up my husband. "The camera is broke!" I said. He groggily rubbed his eyes and said, "well it lasted 3 years." I was already in panic mode, "doesn't he care that the camera is busted. What are we going to do?" My mind was already going into "fix it" mode. I know that is generally the guy's response, but hey he wasn't responding, at least to my liking.

He took the batteries out, and I saw some lights blink. There was a response, something must still work. He tried the buttons again, nothing. I suggested putting in some different batteries, and see if it will work. So we hunted and finally found some, and guess what, it worked. Yeah!!!

Now my pessimistic attitude says, "it's already fritzed out, it will die before we know it and we will be with out a camera." But then the optimistic side kicks in and says, "hey at least it is working now, and might work for a long time."

Anyway, I noticed there were no pictures on the camera, and so I set it aside, and turned to the computer. I opened our Picasa, to see what pictures I had from earlier in the week. And can you believe it, all that Picasa was reading, was broken images. "NO!" my head screamed, "now all of our pictures on the computer are goners too!" We had backed up a few months ago, but nothing since.

I pointed it out to my husband, who coolly responded, that it just looked like Picasa was re-indexing my pictures. "Of course it is re indexing my pictures, it can't find any of them." my mind said.

It is at this point that I should have realized, that I wasn't thinking rationally anymore. My husband is a computer programmer, so he understands more than I do about how computer programs work. I don't usually question what he says about computers. But if I'm not thinking rationally, like I would notice that, hello.

So I opened my folders looking to see if it was Picasa, or if the pictures were really gone. They were all where they were supposed to be. I asked my husband if I should uninstall and reinstall Picasa. He told me just to close it and restart it. So I closed Picasa, and reopened it, and what do you know, it worked. All of our stuff showed up right where it was supposed to be. Silly me :)

Mother, daughter bonding.

Yesterday, Cinderella and I had some Cinderella-Mommy time. We went shopping. Isn't that what little girls are supposed to do with their Moms? I'm not a shopper, so it isn't something we do very often at all.

But Cinderella's summer wardrobe was only half way furnished, I needed some new shirts, and we needed to get a Father's Day present for Daddy. Put that together with the fact that I had a Penney's gift card, and they were having a really good sale, with "door busters" that the prices were only good from 8-1, that covered a few of the items I was needing to get, we went.

So Daddy dropped us off while he and Guy went and did the grocery shopping. Cinderella was pretty good for the first part. But as soon as we found her clothes, the excitement wore off, and she just wanted to buy them and go home.

Unfortunately for her, we had to wait for Daddy to get back with the car, and I still needed to find some more things. Well we finally had everything we needed to get, about the time Daddy called me to tell me he was done shopping. So we got the items bought, and his present put in my purse, as he pulled up.

As soon as we got in the car, Cinderella said, "Daddy we got you a surprise!" I don't know how much more she would have said, but Daddy clapped his hands over his ears, and I tried to explain to her that we needed to not talk about it, till we gave it to him. Well she was tired, she had gotten up early that morning, and it was just too much for her. She burst into tears. So Daddy "opened" his Father's Day present right there to appease her.

So much for a big surprise right?

Guy Humor

My kids make me laugh. So lately Daddy has been ridding his bike to the bus stop, and then he will ride it to work, once the bus reaches town. We keep his bike out on our balcony, so everyday when he gets home from work, he has to carry the bike through our living room, and out onto the balcony. Anyway, Guy loves to go outside. The first few days that Daddy rode his bike, when he would come home, after he went out on the balcony, Guy would either follow him out, or stand by the open door, talking to his Daddy. So Daddy would pick him up, and carry him out there, and they would stand out there for a few minutes. Well it has gotten to the point that Guy expects this kind of thing, when Daddy gets home. He will be playing contentedly on the floor, and as soon as he hears the key in the lock, he makes a beeline for the balcony door, and stands there until Daddy gets there. One day this week, Daddy didn't ride his bike, but even then, as soon as Guy heard the key in the lock, he headed for the back door, and was quite disappointed when Daddy didn't come that way too.

Guy loves food. He loves the refrigerator. He loves to pull things out of the refrigerator. He also loves Cinderella's little doll stroller. He loves to put things in the stroller, and push them around. Can you see where this is going? So yesterday, Daddy was putting away the groceries, and I guess Guy pulled a bottle of BBQ sauce, a couple bottles of mustard, and a bottle of Worcestershire sauce, out of the fridge, unnoticed. Well a little while later, I looked over at him, and he was pushing the stroller around, with all of those items in it. It was quite cute and funny.

The video doesn't do it justice, but it was the best we were able to get.

Walking

So as for my goal to walk every weekday,I started off doing pretty good.

I put the kids in the stroller on Monday morning, and we took a walk through a senior citizen trailer park, that is near us.

On Tuesday it was a torrential downpour, and so a friend of mine, and I loaded up our kids in the car and headed for the mall. Which worked OK.

On Wednesday, I met a different friend at a different mall, and we walked there. So those days I did great. The kids really liked it when I went walking in the mall, because when I was done walking, we would find the mall playground and let them play for a while. Which they seemed to really enjoy.

Then I started to realize that if I walked every morning, there were other things that I wouldn't get done. Like going to the Library, something we didn't do this week. That, and one of the women I walked with informed me that my neighborhood, isn't a safe place for me to take the kids walking without at least one other woman going with me. So that kind of put a damper on the walking thing, especially with the current gas prices, and weather. So I didn't walk on Thursday or Friday. I need to figure out a better arrangement, so that I can still get some exercise and not use so much gas, or time.

Do you like my headband?

So Cinderella brought me a ribbon the other day and asked me to tie it in her hair. I put it under her hair, and tied it on top, so you could see the bow. Apparently she thought it should be different, because the next time I saw her, this is what it looked like.

Father's Day

As Fathers Day approaches, many minds turn to grills, tools, sport equipment, video games, entertainment equipment, and of course the traditional tie. Trying to find the perfect gift for that father who raised us. Who taught us wrong from right. That Dad who gave up times of doing what he wanted to do, or willingly dragged us along, so that we could have some bonding time. The father who taught little boys what it means to be a boy, and little girls that they are beautiful.

Until recently my mind wouldn't have moved beyond those limits. But this year it did. Over Memorial Day weekend, I was visiting my father-in-law, and at church that Sunday, a woman was talking, and mentioned a few gifts that her daughter had given her for different Mother's Day's that she really appreciated. One year her daughter had given her a basket filled with items, that represented different things her mother had taught her. Another year she received a booklet that was filled with memories of Mom. I know that Mom's and Dad's are very different people, and look at things in very different ways. So what I want to know is, do you think a Father would appreciate that kind of sentimental stuff? Or would he rather have the grill?

So I know this is coming a bit early, but all the Dad's in my life are going to get the sentimental stuff this year. So here goes.....

Dad.
My Dad is a very giving person. I remember his always setting aside his needs for us kids. There are nine kids in my family, and I realize, now as a parent, how demanding that must be. But I never heard my father complain.
He willingly helps out around the house. Most of the years I remember, my dad made dinner. He didn't do it because he enjoys to cook. Although I think he does. He did it for my mom. She started teaching piano lessons, hoping to help the family make ends meet. Dad would come home from work, tired, and find her still teaching lessons. He didn't sit down with his newspaper for some personal time until dinner was ready. No. He would go to the kitchen and start making dinner. I don't think I realized how much of a sacrifice that was to him, until I got old enough to help out, and took upon myself the dinner responsibility. I remember one day standing in the kitchen making spaghetti. My dad came in the door, and said something to the effect that, "It is so nice to come home to dinner already on the stove, and almost ready."
My dad is the one who taught me how to clean a bathroom. And when I would do it the way he specified, it would be really clean. I remember him always taking his Saturday's to help out around the house. He would clean out the garage, mow the lawn, clean bathrooms, mop floors, vacuum, do laundry, take out garbage, etc. I don't think there was anything my father felt above doing.
My dad loves my mom with all his heart. The only time I can remember my father ever striking me was when I was disrespectful to my mom. I don't think my dad would accept anyone being unkind or disrespectful to my mother.
I love you Dad!

My husband.
My husband tries very hard to be a good Daddy. He willingly sacrifices time spent doing his hobbies, to play with the kids, or help me around the house. He likes to think of fun things to do with the kids. He recently bought a kite, because he thought Cinderella would enjoy playing with it with him.
He changes diapers, and even gets up in the night at times, with out much complaint. He works hard, even when he doesn't always enjoy his job, because he knows that it means that I can stay home with the kids, and our family can have what they need.
He tries to be the best he can be. Trying to put our family first, even when it is hard, and he has other demands on his time, and efforts.
He often comes home and helps me make dinner, if for some reason it isn't done when he gets home. He tries to take the kids off my hands if he can tell I've had a hard day. He is a very wonderful person, and I am so glad I am married to him. I love you Honey!

My father-in-law.
I don't know him as well as I know my husband or Dad, but I do know that he tries to be there for his children. My mother-in-law, died quite a few years ago, and he hasn't felt like it is the right time to get remarried, so he tries hard to be a mother and a father to his children. I'm sure it is quite a struggle for him. But I know he is an amazing man. He has to be to have raised a son like my husband. He tries to spend time with each of his children, even though they are grown up and reside in many different locations. He strives to better himself, and serve others around him. He is a very selfless man. He tries to be conscientious of others feelings. And I think I couldn't ask for a better father-in-law.

Well there you have it. Those are the fathers that have directly influenced my life. I am so grateful to have them in my life.

Happy early Father's Day!

So now tell me, is that better than a grill? Or should I go for something more tangible next year?

Oh Cordeela!

Cinderella has started thanking me for meals. She will say, "Thanks mom, for making lunch" or dinner or brektist. It makes me feel all warm inside.

One night I noticed an odd problem with the light on our balcony. It had burned out a few weeks before and we had replaced the bulb with a compact florescent. The area we live in tends to have a high crime rate, and we will occasionally hear search helicopters circling around at night, so we have gotten in the habit of making sure our balcony light is on every night. One night I came out to check and make sure the doors were locked and the light was turned on before we went to bed, and the light was off. I thought it was a little odd, because I thought I had turned it on. So I went to flip the switch, and it was already on. So I turned it off and then back on, and it came back on. I thought I must have been mistaken, and so I went about doing other bedtime preparations. Well went I turned back towards the back door, the light was off again. So I pointed it out to my husband. He went out and made sure the bulb was screwed in tight, and turned it on again. Well it happened again. So we thought there might be a short in the wire. So the next day, I went to the apartment office to request a work order and later that day, the maintenance man came and replaced the bulb with a different one, and we haven't had any more problems since. It must have been a faulty bulb.

Anyway, one day I was playing with the kids. Guy has some large cloth covered sponge blocks, and Cinderella was picking them up and throwing them. I told her we don't throw things in the house, and then proceeded to tell her a story about when Mommy was a little girl, she and her brothers and sisters were throwing stuff inside, and Grandma came in, and got mad. Grandma then picked up a stuffed bunny, and told us not to throw things in the house. At that point the bunny left her hand, flew through the air, and broke a light.
At this point, Cinderella asked me, "did the worker man have to come and fix it?" I told her that Grandpa probably fixed it. Well later that night, when we were getting the kids to bed, I noticed that their night light was burnt out, so I asked my husband if he could fix it. Cinderella then said, "no the worker man fixes the lights." Oh the perspective of a child who has only lived in apartments.

Our bishop (the leader of our congregation) counseled the members of our ward (congregation), that we should use the money we receive from the economic stimulus that the government is handing out, to prepare for if the economy does go sour. So we have been looking at our emergency preparedness, and one thing I noticed was that if we were without power we would have no way to cook. So we decided that one thing we would do with our stimulus check was buy an alternative cooking source. So we got a portable stove, that converts to a grill or griddle. It arrived via UPS this week, and so the box was sitting in our living room until Daddy got home from work.
Guy was so excited about this thing. I was watching a friends daughter at the time, and Guy went up to her, and jabbered something off, and then went and pounded on the box (it had pictures of the stove being used on it). She didn't seem impressed enough to really look at it, so Guy tried once again to get her attention and divert it to the box.
After dinner that night, Daddy pulled it out and set it up, while Guy was still in his high chair. Cinderella was really enjoying helping. Daddy was having a little difficulty getting it out of the box and exclaimed, "oh man, this things a beast." Cinderella then responded with, "That man is not a beast." pointing to the man in the picture on the box.
I came into the room a few minutes later, and decided to rescue Guy from his chair. He went strait to the stove, and hit the auto light button. Thankfully it wasn't hooked up to any propane or turned on. He thinks he knows what he is doing. Daddy had set some of his cast iron cookware on top, and Guy just wanted to have his hands on everything.

Note: My subject is a comment that has been coming out of Cinderella's mouth several times a day since we watched "The Happiest Millionaire" this last weekend. The character's name is Cordelia, but Cinderella pronounces it Cordeela.

An invite...

I used to have a really high metabolism, it didn't really matter how much I ate, I didn't put on much weight. Having kids changed that. I'm not fat, but my weight keeps going up, up, up instead of going down or staying the same.
I have tried a few different ideas, and while some of them have helped tone my muscles a little bit, I have a hard time keeping it a habit long enough for it to help me lose weight.
So here's my latest idea. I am going to put my kids in the stroller every day, and go walking. If the weather is such that I need to go to the mall, that is what I am going to do, but at least every week day, I am going for a walk.

Now here is my request. If any of you who live in the same vicinity as me, would like to join me in walking, you don't have to do it everyday, but even on occasion, you are more than welcome. In fact, I think if I had someone I was walking with, it would help me keep at it more. So let me know if you are up for a walk, and we will go. But even if no one wants to go with me, I plan to go on my own.
I'll have to let you know how I do.