I need a break

I think I have hit my limit.  I am not doing so hot in keeping my temper with the kids.  They are doing there best to push my buttons, and I am not responding as lovingly as I would like.

This morning I found Cinderella sitting in Baby's infant swing.   I have told all of the older kids many times to not sit in the swing, and to leave Baby's toys and things alone.  So I told Cinderella that she didn't get to come to the park with us today.  The hubs was working from home, so that gave me the freedom to leave her home.  Needless to say she was none to happy about this, and sat down to sulk.

Then Guy told me he could only find 1 of his shoes.  This is no new thing.  He doesn't take care of his shoes when he comes in the house, and they end up scattered everywhere.  Sometimes they don't even make it into the house.   I told him that he could stay home too.  However I had some reservations about leaving too many kids with the hubs trying to get work done.  So I decided to take Spike and Aurora out into the back yard and push them on the swing.  However Cinderella came out and started swinging, and yelling at me about how unfair I am.   Finally I lost it and told her to go to her room.  She started sulking and whining, so I told her she had one more chance, but if she yelled at me again she could spend the rest of the morning in her room.  So she proceeded to whine, but not yell.  I grew tired of it, and decided I would take the two to the park, just to get away from her whining.

So then she started going on, and on about how Aurora always gets everything she wants and it is so  unfair......  Not wanting to hear it I told all the kids to go to their rooms and went to shut myself in my room.   The hubs asked what I was doing and I told him, I have a hard time following through on consequences  and told him what was happening.  He told me to take the two kids to the park.  So I went to do so, got them buckled into the car, only to have Cinderella open the door and start bagging on me again.   I gave in to my frustration and screamed at her, to knock it off.  She then closed the door and we headed off to the park.

I felt bad screaming at her.  I don't want to be that kind of a mom.  I want to be  a loving and patient mom.   Sometimes I wonder how I am going to do it this summer without loosing my mind.  Sometimes I wonder how I will make it through tomorrow without losing my mind.