A bed, or not a bed? That is the question.

My boys are really rough on beds.  Guy has had 2 beds that he has broken (one of those being tonight), and one that was taken away from him so he wouldn't break it.  Guy and Spike have slept on a queen bed, a queen futon, and twin beds.  They have also slept on mattresses on the floor, and just on the floor itself.  

Guy is not a very good listener, and really not the best at obeying.  He does what ever he gets into his head, without thinking about what the consequences will be, or how his actions will affect those around him.  Tonight, he and Spike, were supposed to be going to bed.  Now unless someone knows something I don't know, all that I can do is get them into their bedroom, and make them stay there.  I can't make not play, or go to sleep.  Sure I can threaten, and  cajole.  I can bribe, and plead, but really when they go to sleep is their decision.  They tend to rough house, and wrestle, instead of settling down.  I really don't know what to do about it, if there is anything that I can do.

Tonight, according to them, they were climbing on Guy's bed, and jumping off onto the floor.  Then the bed frame came apart with one bolt missing, and the other bent totally out of shape.  Needless to say he doesn't get to sleep in a bed tonight.  Spike's bed is still in there, and from the sound of things, they might be repeating their actions.  But short of taking away his bed too, what do you do?

Good weekend

I had a good weekend.   Spent a lot of time at my parents house.  I really enjoyed getting to spend time with them.   It doesn't happen all that often.

A Bike! A Bike! I Got A Bike!

So somewhere about 20 years ago I got in a bike accident.  My pant leg got caught in the chain of my bike causing me to lose control of the bike, fall onto my side and skid down the middle of the road a few feet.   Let's just say it wasn't that pleasant of an experience.   Since that time I haven't really ridden a bike much.  I think I rode once with a friend when I was in my mid teens.   I think a big part is I was afraid.


Well the hubs bought me a bike.   And I rode it.  And I didn't crash.  And it was actually fun, in a scary kind of way.  I will tackle this fear, one step at a time.   Or maybe that should be one ride at a time.

Not praising the child but giving encouragement

Today in my reading I learned about how praising your children actually has negative effects.  Instead of praising your children you should give encouragement and praise their actions.  Instead of saying "Your so smart, you got an A on your math test", you should say "You got an A on your math test, good job.  You worked really hard on studying and now it paid off.  Doesn't that make you feel great!"

That kind of thing.  So I tried to put that into practice with Aurora today.  When she helped me put Spike's socks on, I thanked her for getting the socks, and trying to get them on him.  And when she did all of her jobs on her own, with me just telling her what to do, but not going around with her and helping her do them, I told her "Good job, you did all your jobs by yourself.  Doesn't that make you feel good!"  (Or something like that.)

Crazy Day

Today was a rather crazy kind of day.  It was kind of an off day for most if not all of the family.  This morning Guy wasn't interested in getting ready for school, and it wasn't until it was time to leave that he decided he should get dressed.  I am guessing they were probably late for school.  

Aurora was very insistent that she was not going to wear a jacket this morning.  All I did was hand it to her, and then she started screaming at me that she's not wearing a jacket today!  She then threw her jacket onto the sidewalk, where I picked it up and tucked it into the bottom of the stroller.  I didn't tell her she needed to wear it, but she screamed and kicked at me all the way to preschool.  Then when we got there, she refused to stay.  She was screaming and crying when I left.   When she got home later, had her lunch, and wanted to play the computer (her normal routine), I told her no.  I told her I didn't like the way she acted this morning, she wasn't nice to Mommy or her teachers.  And because she acted like that she doesn't get to play the computer.  She then cried and screamed at me, about how she is "GOING TO PLAY THE COMPUTER TODAY!"  I just got myself some lunch, rotated the wash, and folded clothes.  I would occasionally acknowledge her feelings, but I never gave in.

Then this afternoon, Cinderella wasn't feeling well, and that might have been part of it.  But we went to pick up the Hubs from work, and he wanted to go to a local dinosaur museum.  However both Cinderella and Guy had ignored me telling them to get their shoes, and got in the car with bare feet.  Needless to say, we couldn't go to the museum.   Cinderella screamed at us the whole way home, about how unfair we were that we wouldn't go home, get her shoes and then go back to the museum.  When we got to our neighborhood, I had gotten tired of her screaming, so she and the hubs got out of the car, and walked the rest of the way home.


I am not sure if this is all due to the changes in parenting that I am trying to make, or if there are other factors involved here.  But lets just say it was kind of crazy.

Parenting

This week we have been implementing a new system of parenting.   I have been reading "Have a New Kid By Friday"  by  Dr. Kevin Leman.  We started trying to implement ideas from this book yesterday,  and life has been crazy.  I have been amazed at times as things I wasn't sure would work did, and we have had some serious drama as kids are testing new limits.  He claims it can get pretty bad  for a few days but then gets better.   I am looking forward to the better part.

Birthdays

My birthday is approaching rapidly, and it has gotten me thinking on the subject of birthdays.  I know that often times I think that because it is my birthday it should be different than other days, that people should reach out to me.   However my birthday doesn't always go the way my mind has planned, and then I let myself get disappointed.

This has gotten me thinking, what do I want out of a birthday.  A birthday is an anniversary of ones birth.  364 days of the year, are just regular days, but one day out of the year is your birthday.   I think that most people like to feel special (extra special) once in a while.  And a birthday is an opportunity for such things.   I don't think (at my age) it is about presents.  Presents are just more stuff.  Sure I can appreciate them, but they aren't what matters most.  What matters to me, is that people took the time to think about me, and let me  know that they care.

In this day and age of technology, this often happens with a simple message on Facebook.  Now I am not against such messages.  I think they have their place, but sometimes I think we take the convenience for granted, and don't deliver messages in the most meaningful way.   A few years ago, on my birthday I spent quite a bit of time visiting some people, one of the people that was there, said very few words to me the whole time I was there.  Later when I got home, and was checking my Facebook page I noticed a "Happy Birthday" message from this person written during the time we were spending together.  I appreciated this message, but it would haven meant a lot more to me, if they had wished me Happy Birthday in person, while I was there.

A phone call, or a visit, where applicable mean more to me than a little message on the computer screen.  I understand that not everyone has the time, or availability to do those kinds of things, and so the Facebook message can be meaningful.  

I guess what I want to communicate most in this post, is are you as a person, really taking the time to let the people you care about let them know you do, on their birthday, or any other day for that matter?  Or do you simply take 5 seconds to write a text or message on Facebook, and then forget about them for another year?

Yelling

Aurora and Guy together are trouble.   I don't know how to getthem to obey.  When they are together,  and I ask one to do something,  the other encourages disobedience.
Today  I was trying so hard to be nice.  I kept asking them to do their jobs, and they kept ignoring me and doing whatever they pleased.   I gave them consequences.   I made them take a timeout,  I told them they didn't get lunch,  until the living room was clean,  no results they just kept ignoring me.  Finally I l9st it, and yelled at them.   They finally started obeying,  but I felt awful for giving in and yelling.   I felt like crying.   I want my kids to listen and obey, but I don't want to yell.  Is that asking too much?

A mommy day

Several years ago I was reading a blog, and found a mom who was saying that to balance the Mommy/Kid time, what she would do was one day of the week was her day.  On Friday's she would still do housework, and do things with her kids, but she got to decide what they did.  I decided to try this out today.

This morning I mopped the floor, and made pumpkin bread.  Albeit my bread didn't turn out, but I made it.   Then after lunch I sat down at the computer to write down some ideas that have been rolling around in my head.  Just a little bit of time for me.    Most of my days are not like that, but maybe I can make Friday's like that.  It is worth a try.

The Things Kids Say

A few weeks ago I was picking up Aurora from her preschool.  She got into the car, said "Hi," to me and Scooter, and then she said "hi," to Spike.  Then Spike responded, "Me not Spike! Me Guy!"  This repeated every time she would say "Hi, Spike."  Then finally she said, "Hi Guy,"  to which he responded, "Me not Guy!  Me Gogo."

Last week after I made her lunch one day, Aurora said to me, "Thanks, your a cute little mom."

Another day she told me I am the best mom ever.

Tonight Aurora and Guy were having pretend phone conversations with some of their cousins. (The cousins were just being imagined.)   And one child would be talking on the phone, and the other would come up and try and yell over the other one into the phone, to the cousin "they" were talking to.  The response would then be, "I haven't shut it down yet, your talking to the wrong person."   I never thought of ending a phone call as shutting it down.

A Picnic 2 Days in a Row

Well today we ended up picking up the hubs from work again.  Aurora suggested that we do another picnic, to which the hubs readily agreed.  Therefore we went on another picnic tonight.  This is going to have to come to an end soon, because the weather isn't going to hold out much longer.  But we shall make the most of it while it does, and we have time.

Picnics and kitchens

Tonight we took the kids on an impromptu picnic.  I think they had fun.  This might be the last picnic of the season, depending on how the weather goes.  
I am working on getting my kitchen back into order after painting.   It can get discouraging if I let myself think about all I still need to do, but I am making progress.  That is the part I need to focus on.

Do I show appreciation?

So lately I have been feeling unappreciated.  As a mom, I do many things around the house, that people just expect, and no one says "Thank you"  they just get upset when I don't do those things.   I know this is a common thing mom's deal with.  That doesn't make it any easier to deal with though.

Today I was thinking about it, and realized that I don't always do the best job of showing appreciation to others for what they do.  And if I don't show it, where are my children supposed to learn it from?  So I am trying to do a better job of showing appreciation, and saying thank you.  I know it won't be easy, but I am going to do it.

And the toys went goodbye!

So tonight I found myself feeling frustrated with my children.  Guy and Aurora were playing in the yard and it was time to come inside.  I asked them nicely to come it, to which they just ignored me and kept on playing.   Normally at this point I would go out there yelling, and drag them into the house.  I didn't want to do that, however, because i know that is not how the Savior would have me act.     So I took a minute, and then I went out there, asked them to come inside again.  This time they started giving me the excuse that they couldn't get off their swings, so they couldn't come in.

I then kindly helped them off their swings and into the house.  I then asked them to get in their PJ's.  They told me "no!" then proceeded to go downstairs.  I had a few things that I had brought in from the yard that I needed to take care of, so I took care of those items and then went to find the kids.  They were down hiding in Aurora's room, trying to block the door so that I couldn't come it.   I got the door open, found Guy, put him over my shoulder and started carrying him up the stairs.  The hubs saw me at this point and took Guy to finish getting PJ's on.  I then went back down, cornered Aurora and helped her into her PJ's.  

Then as I was going back upstairs, I passed the mess of the playroom.  Not only was it a mess of toys, but they had also dumped out my laundry basket, so there were socks all over the floor, and someone had left uncapped glitter glue on the floor.  Lets just say, the laundry that had been clean now has glitter glue on it.  And my laundry basket was filled with toys.   By this point I felt like if I asked them to clean up they would just tell me no again, and I didn't want to deal with that.  So I just went and grabbed a few garbage bags, went back down and started putting the toys in.  I got the toys all cleaned up.  The glitter glue and markers that were left on the floor are thrown away.  I am not sure what will happen to all of those toys yet.

The kids did ask what they can do to get their toys back.  I told them if they keep the family room, and their bedrooms clean for a week, they can have some toys back.   We will see how this goes.

What did you do today?

Today, with lots and lots and lots of help from the hubs, and one of our neighbors I painted the kitchen.   OK to be honest, the neighbor did most of it, then the hubs, and I only really painted behind the refrigerator.   Most of the other time I was cleaning, getting food, and taking care of Scooter and occasionally Spike.

I hope to post more pictures of the kitchen in a future post.

Parent daughter date

A few years ago we decided to try to take the kids on an outing,  just one kid and mom and dad,  for their birthday.   We haven't always been very good at getting it done close to their birthday,  but we try to do it anyway.
Tonight we took Aurora out for her evening out.  Scooter came along just like he does on all our dates right now, but other than him it was just her, and mom and dad.

We took her out to dinner, to a museum,  and then a play.   I think she enjoyed it, but had a hard time with the play keeping her interest.   She kept asking if it was the end yet.

Pets

Today there was a preschool field trip to a pet store.  I have to admit puppies and kittens sure are cute.  But they can sure be expensive!  Cinderella wants a chihuahua.  Those dogs were like $500-$600 dollars,  just for the dog.  I know it costs money to have a pet, but I really don't want to pay that much for a pet that my kids will get tired of, and then I will have to take care of it.
I told Cinderella that if she can keep her room clean for 30 days in a row she can have a pet.  I figure if she can stay motivated that long we stand a better chance of her actually staying motivated to take care of the pet.

How do you make time for you?

I have been feeling kind of stressed lately.  I don't really get much down time, and I feel like I am going from the moment I get up in the morning until I go to bed at night.  I am told, "you have to take care of yourself, so that you can take care of others."

I believe that is true, but I am having a hard time figuring out when to take care of myself.  How do you do it?

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. Proverbs 15:1

This evening at dinner the kids were running around being loud and crazy.  Often when this happens I lose control and yell at them.  Today I think I was inspired to try something different.   Instead of yelling at them I said, in a voice so quiet I wasn't sure they would hear me, "Anyone not sitting in their seat when I count to five will be done with their dinner."   Then I commenced counting, still in my quiet voice.   The older kids responded first,  and quickly moved back to their seats.  Aurora caught on at about 3, and went back to her seat.  I was actually quite amazed and how well they responded.

I then decided to experiment, and went for the rest of the evening speaking in a quiet voice.  Guy often frustrates me, by getting involved in something and then tuning me out.  I often end up yelling just his name in trying to get his attention, then I feel really frustrated.  Well this evening, he was playing down stairs, and I just stood at the top of the stairs and said his name in a quiet voice.  I may have had to say his name 2 or 3 times, but he responded a lot quicker than he does when I yell.   Also there were only a few times during the evening that he had to ask me what I said.  Most of the time he heard me well, and responded in a positive way.

This isn't to say that he didn't whine when I told him it was time for bed.  He still did.  But overall, he went to bed without a fight.  So did Aurora.   I felt like our evening was a much positive experience overall, and I think a big part of it, was me speaking in a soft voice instead of yelling.

Grandparents Day

Yesterday was the official Grandparents day, but today Grandparents Day was celebrated at my kids school.  Grandparents were invited to come and spend a half hour with their grandchildren at school.  My mom came and visited Guy and then Cinderella.  They really enjoyed having her come.

Afterward she came and visited me.  I really enjoyed that too.  I don't get to see a lot of my mom, and so I relish the opportunities I do get.  Aurora, Spike, Scooter and I took my mom out to lunch at the cafe that is at the Hubs work.  It was a nice visit.

Overdone

I think I pushed myself a little bit too hard yesterday.  I was feeling it today.  Hopefully tomorrow is better.

And the rains came a tumbling down

Today I still needed to do some shopping, and the kids were all acting as healthy as can be, so we loaded up the family,  and we all went shopping together.

Afterwards we decided to take the kids on a picnic up one of the local canyons.   We  parked a short walk away from an awesome waterfall, went to see the falls, then decided to find a place for our picnic.  At this point the storm hit.

This was no little storm.  Winds were tearing through the canyon somewhere between 50-70 miles per hour, ripping tree branches and leaving their debri blocking our path.  Lighting lit up the sky, and rain and hail came pounding down on us, as we hurdled down the path back to the safety of our car.

Guy was leading the way, several feet ahead of the rest of us.  Cinderella followed a few feet behind.  I was carrying Spike as Aurora clung to my hand.  The hubs was barreling down the path with the stroller careening wildly  with a terrified Scooter tucked in the front and picnic basket perched precariously on the back.  Suddenly a blast of wind rushed through the trees, knocking the basket to the ground.  At this point Spike , fed up with the whole situation tried to leap from my arms.  We sat him down on the rear stroller seat, and Aurora climbed on behind him.  The hubs then took off again with the stroller, leaving me in the dust flying in the wind.  I picked up the basket and took flight.

By the time we reached our car, we were all drenched, and the kids were all screaming.   We piled in, and then passed out the food.  The kids finally calming down, and fealing pitty on those still out in the storm.

When we finished eating, we started driving down the canyon.  Traffic was really slow, and backed up.  We were wondering what was going on.  When we reached the foot of the canyon, we found the roads flooded with muddy water, some places over a foot deep.  We passed parking lots that looked like swimming pools, roads that looked like rivers.   Some places water was even bubbling up from the street drains.  It was crazy.

I am very greatful we all got home safe and sound.

Contagious

Right now I am frustrated with contagious diseases.   So as I posted yesterday,  both Cinderella and I have been diagnosed with strep throat.  Neither of us are contagious any more, but that doesn't mean that others in my family don't have it, and are contagious.   And we have no way of knowing,  except waiting.

This means we can't really get out and be around other people.
Right now this frustrates me because tomorrow the girls in my family are getting together to spend the day shopping.  Now I am not a big shopper, but I haven't gotten the kids school clothes yet, and I don't have very many opportunities to get a break from my kids, and hang out with the girls.   I was really looking forward to tomorrow.

But I have a sister who just had a baby via c-section,  and her 2 year old is at my parents house right now.  I don't want to get her sixk, and have her take it home to her mom and brother.   I also have a pregnant sister-in-law, who will be going, and I don't want ro get her sick either.   (Not that I want to get anyone sick, those people are just more susceptible rigt now.)

Strep

This morning Cinderella woke up with a sore throat.  I had been told that strep was going around at the elementary, so I decided I should probably keep her home, and take her to the doctor, to see if she had strep or not.

Turns out she did.   Then I got to wondering.  I haven't been feeling the best lately (yesterday and today), and I kind of have a sore throat, so I went to my Dr. to check and make sure if I had it or not.  Turns out I do to.  Isn't that exciting?   I get to be mom, with a sore throat, and headache, but at least I know why, and hopefully will soon be feeling better.

Potty Training again. And a baby that moves

This morning Spike was complaining of some discomfort in his diaper area.  I then decided to put underwear on him instead.   I then just kept telling myself that it is OK to clean up messes.  If I don't leave him in underwear, he won't ever get potty trained.  

It wore me out, but we made it through the day, not using diapers, until I put him to bed.


Scooter is a crazy kid, when he wants to get somewhere, at least in his room.   I changed his diaper in there this afternoon, and left him on the floor while I went to throw away the diaper and wash my hands.   By the time I got back to him, he had somehow scooted into his closet, and barricaded himself in there.

Walking

Today I walked at least 2 miles.  1 mile around the neighborhood and 1 mile around the house.
The hubs has a pedometer which I put on today before walking Aurora to preschool.  I clocked how far I walked, and then I left it on, while I went about my daily chores.
I made sure that I took a route to the preschool and back that covered at least a mile.  It went slightly over.  Then at the end of the day, well at least when I took off the pedometer, ( I still did a bunch of stuff after that), it said 2 .10 miles.  Not bad.

15 minutes of swimming

Tonight Aurora told us she wanted to go swimming for family home evening activity.   Being the last day the outdoor pools are open, we figured we could go there.  We hurried and had dinner, got ready and left.  By the time we got to the pool, they had already closed for the evening.  So Aurora wanted to try the other outdoor pool.  We drove there, and it looked like they were still open.  
We started heading in, and were stopped by some people coming out.  They said the pool was going to close in 15 min.  but we were welcome to use what was left on their punch pass if we still wanted to go in.  So we took them up on it and swam for 15 min.  It was short, but fun.

Habit Jar

Today we started a habit jar.  I took an old candle jar, and we cleaned out the leftover wax.  Then we each picked a habit we would like to work on. 
The hubs and I are going to try to not yell.  Cinderella wants to practice the piano each day.  Guy wants to try to not chew on his shirt.  Aurora wants to work on personal hygiene.   And Spike just needs to try to use the bathroom.
Each day as we say nightly family prayers,  we will follow up, and everyone who  worked on their habit that day (practiced a good habit or avoided a bad habit), gets to put a marble in the jar.  When we fill the jar, we get a reward as a family.