Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Agency

One of the things I have heard people have the biggest problem with, when trying to accept that there is a God, is the question "If there is a God, why does he let people do bad things?"

The church I belong to, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, teaches that we are all given agency.  The ability to choose.  If we want to choose to drive 90 miles an hour down the freeway, that is our choice, we can do that.  If we want to take someones life, that is our choice, we can do that.  However that doesn't make these things right choices, nor does it take away the consequences of our actions.  If you speed, you are more likely to get in an accident, and some one is more likely to get hurt.  You are also more likely to get pulled over and get a ticket.  If you take someones life, you make it so they don't have the choice to live any more.  And you are also increasing the likelihood of you spending the rest of your life in prison, or on death row, and if you "get away with it" you still have to live knowing you did that.

If you run out in front of a car, you are going to get hit.  Do you get the idea?

Anyway, this agency, is something that I struggle with, as being a parent.  Because, I can't take away my children's agency, although I can try.
No matter how hard I try, I can not force Guy to use the potty.  I can't force him to not soil his clothes.  He is going to do it if he wants to.  I can encourage, I can scream, I can yell, I can take away his toys, I can hurt him (that one I try really hard to not do), but through it all, I can't MAKE him use the potty.  And that is so frustrating to me, because his choice doesn't just affect him, it affects me too.  I'm the one who has to clean him up, or help him clean him up, or live with a house that stinks if he doesn't do it, or at least do a good job.

Now in reality I don't want to take away his agency, but I would like it if he would do what I ask him to, and if he would care if he was clean or not.  But he doesn't.  So I just keep encouraging, and if nothing else, maybe Aurora will get potty trained.  

2 comments:

Rose said...

Been there! I've had three in diapers before... and it seemed like it was a never ending power struggle with the ones I decided were "old enough!" It's frustrating!!! "Wait it out and he'll come around" is not what you want to here... but it's all you can do! It's especially hard when every other kid their age has been using the potty for a long time. I know your frustration! Hang in there!

Kristen Colson said...

I remember a sister at church saying that her biggest trial was her children's agency. This has been coming back to me more frequently as my children get older and I worry about the decisions they are making.