So in my family right now there seems to be a lot of weaning going on. And before you get the wrong idea, no I am not weaning my 5 month old from his bottle yet, unless you count the fact that we have started rice cereal.
Most of the weaning involves my toddler. Another way to say it is we are trying to break habits, or one case, she is breaking a habit or routine.
So I will start with what she is doing. She has recently decided that she doesn't need naps anymore. This is difficult for me, because I still need naps, and I can't take one if she doesn't. She is down to about 2 naps a week. And don't get me wrong I totally appreciate those two naps. In fact I couldn't be writing this right now if she wasn't taking one of her two naps for this week, right now.
We are also in the process of weaning her from her "plug" or pacifier. This is one that is hard for me, and I have tried different ways different times and have yet to succeed. However right now we are trying a replacement method. She uses her plug as an item of comfort, so we are trying to displace that affection and comfort to another item. We bought her two stuffed bears that are identical. One is only for when she is taking a nap or going to bed, the times that she is allowed her plug. The other one is for when we are in the car, a time when she seeks comfort in asking for fruit snacks (another habit we are trying to break at the moment.) I'm hoping she will develop an attachment to the bear and then we can gradually remove the plugs and fruit snacks.
The last item that we are trying to wean right now is movies. If you read my "M is for movies" post you noticed that she watches a lot of movies. I decided she watches too many movies. I decided that instead of a movie a day (on weekdays) I would cut it down to one movie per week, plus special occasions. What I didn't count on were withdrawal symptoms. The first day that I tried no movies, I found myself craving TV, and movies. I think my daughter was having similar problems. She told me probably 6-10 times that day that she "needed to watch a movie". I didn't give in, however I decided that going from a movie a day to a movie a week in one shot was maybe too crazy of a move. So I have altered my plan for the moment. Right now I am trying to cut it down to a movie every other day on weekdays and none on weekends unless it was a special occasion. Once we have adapted to that schedule then maybe it will be twice a week, and then down to once a week.
So I don't know if it is my timing is bad, or that I am trying to do too much at one time, but my daughter has also lately become incredibly clingy. She has always been an outgoing independent child, but now if I go somewhere, even somewhere that is familiar and the people are familiar, she doesn't leave my side for very long. And she is clingy at home too. She always seems to need me right there doing what she is doing, and need my very attention. If I am on the floor paying attention to the baby, she will climb on my back, if I am at the computer she comes and pulls at my arm. If I am in the kitchen, she is underfoot constantly.
So what I want to ask all of you is, do you have any advice for a struggling parent in this situation. Am I doing too much at once do I need to cut back on all that is being cut out of her life at one time? Is there some way that I can pay her attention, and have her take some "own" time too?
1 comment:
Hey, Julie.
Oh, I feel for you. We've gone through the frustrating clingy, dependent, want constant attention stages too. And I'm sure we will again! Hang in there, though. I think it's a valuable lesson for a child to learn: that I can play and entertain MYSELF, that mommy can attend to someone else's needs (even her own!), and I'll be ok. I went through this with Jayde, before Jayde and Simone started being able to play with each other, at 18 months and 3 1/2. I explained to Jayde that I need to do things BY MYSELF that will help me be a better mother. Then, I would block myself off and set a timer (starting with just one minute at the beginning) and read the scriptures. At the beginning of "mommy time", I'd always help Jayde come up with a plan of what she was going to do to entertain herself while I was busy. She knew she couldn't interrupt me unless she was sick or hurt.
I meant to respond to your other post, about what things work in our house to entertain us instead of movies. We play with playdough a lot, we build forts, I put towels down on the kitchen floor and then fill a big tupperware bin with water and let Jayde put plastic toys in and even herself. She loves that. She can play in the water for at least an hour or more, until her lips are blue.
Good luck! I wish you lived closer so we could brainstorm ideas to help our kids in person!
Missing you,
Katherine
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