So to follow up with all of my crazy posts. I do know what I am supposed to do. But as the hubs reminded me yesterday, there has to be opposition in all things, or else you don't really have th freedom to choose, you are just going along with the flow.
The time to leave Texas is coming, I need to accept it and look forward to the future. When I do that I truly feel peace. When I start thinking about all the reasons I want to stay, then I get confused, or have a stupor of thought.