Thursday, September 15, 2016

Friends

I have been struggling ever since moving.  My life has been a roller coaster of emotions.  I have to just keep looking forward to the future.   
We moved back to a place where we had lived before.  To the same house even.  We had rented it out while we were gone, but had had no plans of returning, even though we didn't sell it.  But the Lord had plans.  He knew we would eventually come back, and prepared a way for us to be able to do so.
One might think that moving into the same house would make the moving transition a ton easier.  However, for me, it has been more difficult in some ways.   I think maybe in part due to expectations that it wouldn't be, makes the struggle more emotional.  I am hoping that if I bare my soul, I can set this aside and move on.
Each day I am going to blog about some expectations one might have, and I think I maybe even had them to a degree, that have proved false, and helped create more emotional discord inside of me.  

1. Expectation: You already have friends there, so there is already a social circle where you fit.
    Truth:  In Utah, a highly Mormon community, there is a great social disadvantage.  Your social circle largely is the ward (congregation) you belong to.  This congregation is based on where you live. You attend church with those who live around you.  This is great, because you worship with those who live around you, and can have a closer knit community.  The church functions in such a way that every ward runs the same way.  Our church is a global church.  Church is basically the same, no matter where you attend, other than the people.  You don't shop around for a paster that you like, or a church that teaches doctrine just so.  Every ward teaches the same doctrine, and each ward is lead by a bishop, who didn't volunteer for the position, but was called to the position, by leaders of the church higher on the line of authority,  in direction from God.  The bishop changes, when the Lord decides the bishop should change, and to the man the Lord sees fit to be the new bishop.  Anyway, as I said, you attend church with those who live around you, and the boundaries of your ward change, based on growth of the members of the church in your area.  And very sadly, when those boundaries change, you no longer have anything to do with those who used to be in your ward, even if they still live near you.  While we were living in Texas, those boundaries changed.  I came back to a ward, where I don't know many people.  And all my friends who I had before, who live in the other half of the neighborhood, so therefor the other ward, we don't have that connection anymore.  I still see them, and talk to them, but we don't have that connection.  I feel lonely, because I don't have that connection.  Don't get me wrong, I still like the people I go to church with, and I even have people I consider friends.  But it isn't quite what I want.

So, now that I have identified that, I know I need to find ways to make friendships with those in my ward, but also need to find ways to continue interaction with those who I consider my friends, who still live near me, but aren't in my ward.  Now I just need a plan.

1 comment:

Melissa said...

boundary changes are so hard. I really hated the change that was made to the 5th ward. I mourned the friends I would no longer see as often. I know how you are feeling. In my experience, it took about a year to get to know all the new people in our ward and start to like them. And by the time we moved down to Mapleton, I was sad to leave the 1st ward. So just give it dome time and it will get easier.