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Thursday, September 12, 2019

A momentary rant.

I am struggling.  I'll come right out and say it.  I know I am a mom of young children, and I have even made a choice to add extra children to my life.  I love all these kids, I also feel overwhelmed by all these kids.  And I feel I am losing my identity to these kids.  Anytime I try to do something for me, unless I can find a time when no kids are around (which doesn't really happen), if I want to do something or have something, I have to be willing to share it.  Does it make me a bad mom, that I want to make sensory jars and not have the 4 and 6 year old take over and dump too much glitter in?  Should I just relax and go with the flow and consider all they are learning?  Does it make me an inconsiderate mom that I don't want to always allow kids to help me cook?  That sometimes I want to make something by myself?

Am I selfish that I have my secret stash of chocolates and juice that I don't want to share.  That when a kid asks me what I am eating or where I got it, I tell them it is something that is mine and not for them?

It's not that I never share or let them help me.  I give them a lot of things.  And we do lots of crafts, activities, and cooking projects together.
I spend a lot of time playing with kids, tickling, pushing swings, building blocks, coloring, putting together puzzles.  I let them help me with a lot of a lot of things when they want to.  But do I always need to do such things?

1 comment:

Mandy said...

No. You aren't selfish. You can only give from what you have. You need to take care of yourself, the way you need. You are doing amazing things!