For the last 15 years I have had a frequent companion. His name is Depression, and he loves to tell me lies to make me feel miserable. I know they are lies, but often my hormones and emotions believe the lies and overrule the rational side of my brain. He doesn't just visit after I have had a baby, but the extra hormones, and lack of sleep encourage him to stay.
The worst was after Cinderella was born. He came again when I was pregnant with Spike, amd hasn't left since.
The lies he tells me are things like; "You are fat and unattractive. " "You don't have any friends. " "You are a terrible mother." "You are lazy." "You aren't important. " etc.
Well I am sick of it, I am tired of feeling blue and lonely. Last night while I was coaxing Baby to go to sleep, I started thinking on this subject, and decided I am going to do something about it. I am going to set some goals to get me out of this rut, and I am going to make a blog post daily of how ot is going. Making the daily blog post is my first goal. I am doing this for me. I picked the blog, because it is open to be read by more than just me, so I am accountable to more than just myself. However it doesn't matter if others read these posts or not. What matters is that I write them.
I am not going to take on all of these goals at once, or I will just burn myself out and drop the whole process. However, I will record all of the ideas I have had, to make a record, and be held more accountable for them. So here goes:
Take a shower daily.
Exercise daily
Call or visit a friend every day
Do something special for me on a regular basis.
Get as close to 8 hours of sleep, as I can, a night. (8 hours being the goal, but with a little baby, I can only do so much about that.)
Spend time outside each day.
Have more meaningful prayers.
Eat a balanced diet, eating enough for me and baby, but not eating too much, and avoiding excessive sweets.
I know there isn't a lot of detail there, but I will give more detail when I set each goal. For now my goal is to make a blog post daily, until the end of April, about what I am doing to deal with my depression. I may include activities that fall under goals I have yet to set, but that is OK.
5 comments:
Good luck on your quest for a happier you. I think that you are brave for sharing your struggles and I think that through your posts others will be helped as well. You deserve to be happy and feel good about you!
You and I have the same " friend". You are smart to set goals and write. Don't be too hard on yourself. You are a beautiful young mother with a lot to offer. Good luck on this journey! You can do it. L.Edwards
You are always welcome to come visit us! Although I am not around often, Denice and the kids almost always are.
Been there done that sweet lady! I'm proud of you for taking the bull by the horns and using your determination to try to kick this thing in the butt! It's so hard sometimes. I wish you the very best on your journey, and I'll support you (the best I can from the distance) the best I can!
Way to go Julie. I love that you are open about your depression. You will have people cheering you on, and listening ears across the blogging world. <3 --jenni
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