One week down

Ever since I got pregnant with Baby I feel like I have fallen off my game.  I haven't stayed on top of Guy's homework at all.  My house hasn't been very clean except when other people have cleaned it for me.  My garden turned into a big weed patch.  And my children have spent way too much time in front of the computer.

Let me tell you, that doesn't do much to help my self-esteem.   I want to change it,  and every day I say I am going to so something about it, but most days I just spend my day doing worthless time wasting activities.

So my goal this next week is to only get myself involved in mindless activities on my tablet when I am nursing Baby.  I can give myself 30 min, or as long as he eats which ever is longer.

The rest of the time I will work on cleaning up my house or yard, play with my kids, or make sure the necessities like laundry and dishes are done.

Day 6

Today we went to an Easter egg hunt at my parents home.  This was the first time since Baby was born, that we have gone somewhere as a whole family, that we needed to be there by a set time in the morning.   It was rather stressful for me this morning trying to get all of the kids and myself ready to go.  I was afraid I would need to stay home with Baby because I wasn't ready.   But thanks to some help from the hubs we were all able to go and be there on time.

Day 5 Better late than never

I totally forgot to post anything yesterday.
Yesterday I went grocery shopping.  It felt great that I still had plenty of energy to put the groceries away when I got home.  It has been a long time since I felt that way.  And I didn't take a nap yesterday either.   Not because I didn't get a chance,  but because I didn't need one.

Day 4

Today I took some me time.  I took a bath, and I went to Costco,  bought some flowers,  and made an arrangement for my table.

Day 3

Today was better.   I am still feeling sick, but with pain meds it wasn't too bad.  I spent some time outside with Spike.  It is different seeing the world through the eyes of a 2 year-old.   I didn't get a shower today, but I did get two naps. BIt is nice having my sister here so that I can do that kind of thing.  This is her last week here, so I am hoping I can get over this cold while she is here.  I will have to see how my emotional wellbeing is effected by her leaving. BI will have to do more, which could be good for me, but I won't have as much adult interaction,  which could be hard.

Day 2

Today I think I am getting sick.  I have a sore throat, and ache all over.   It is hard to say how much my emotional well being is related to how I am feeling physically.   I didn't get a shower until noon, and didn't feel motivated to do anything,  while I wandered around the house in my pajamas until then.  But was that because I was still in my pajamas,  or because I am sick?  I wasn't feeling sick until after my shower,  just tired.   I helped Guy with his homework this morning and hung up the girls dressesbin their closet.  But I feel like other than feeling Baby, that is all I did that was productive.

Day 1

Today I took a shower, and cleaned my sewing area.  Having a clean area helps me feel better, and it helps me feel like I might actually be able to do some of my sewing.   I also read 1 chapter out of a book for recreation.

Combating depression

For the last 15 years I have had a frequent companion. His name is Depression,  and he loves to tell me lies to make me feel miserable.   I know they are lies,  but often my hormones and emotions believe the lies and overrule the rational side of my brain.  He doesn't just visit after I have had a baby,  but the extra hormones,  and lack of sleep encourage him to stay.

The worst was after Cinderella was born.  He came again when I was pregnant with Spike, amd hasn't left since.

The lies he tells me are things like; "You are fat and unattractive. " "You don't have any friends. " "You are a terrible mother." "You are lazy." "You aren't important. " etc.

Well I am sick of it, I am tired of feeling blue and lonely.  Last night while I was coaxing Baby to go to sleep, I started thinking on this subject,  and decided I am going to do something about it.  I am going to set some goals to get me out of this rut, and I am going to make a blog post daily of how ot is going.  Making the daily blog post is my first goal.  I am doing this for me.  I picked the blog,  because it is open to be read by more than just me, so I am accountable to more than just myself.   However it doesn't matter if others read these posts or not.  What matters is that I write them.

I am not going to take on all of these goals at once, or I will just burn myself out and drop the whole process.   However,  I will record all of the ideas I have had, to make a record,  and be held more accountable for them.  So here goes:

Take a shower daily.
Exercise daily
Call or visit a friend every day
Do something special for me on a regular basis.
Get as close to 8 hours of sleep, as I can, a night.   (8 hours being the goal, but with a little baby, I can only do so much about that.)
Spend time outside each day.
Have more meaningful prayers.
Eat a balanced diet, eating enough for me and baby, but not eating too much, and avoiding excessive sweets.

I know there isn't a lot of detail there, but I will give more detail when I set each goal.  For now my goal is to make a blog post daily, until the end of April, about what I am doing to deal with my depression.   I may include activities that fall under goals I have yet to set, but that is OK. 

Happy St. Paddy's Day

RSV update

Just to let y'all know, Baby came home from the hospital on Monday.  So glad to have him healthy and home again.

All Dry!

Yeah! Thanks to much dedication from my sister Lynne, Aurora is now completely potty trained.    3 down, 2 to go.

RSV

Baby got admitted to the hospital last Tuesday with RSV.   He is getting better,  but could still use prayers.   Please include us in your fast tomorrow.