I wish I knew. I wish I knew how and where and who to ask for help. I usually just plug along the best I can, until I crash. I know that isn't healthy, but when people ask me what I need, I honestly don't know what to tell them.
The interesting thing about this is, many times I
have felt if I could just split myself into multiple people I could get it all done. That means that somewhere in my mind, I know what I want done, so why can't I tell/ask others?
I realized the answer to this question this last weekend. I feel so burdened down by the heaviness of what I am trying to carry, I don't want to make anyone else carry it. I see all the other things people have going on in their lives, and think "they don't need the additional stress of my life and problems.". So I keep it to myself. I think one of my greatest fears is being a burden on someone else.
Through all of this introspection, I realize I need to ask for help, and let others serve me more. I just am never sure where and who to ask. I find some people who are very supportive and helpful, so I know I can ask them. But after multiple times of asking them, because I don't know who else to turn to, I am afraid I am burning them out. Not because they tell me I am, but because I know how heavy my burden is, and I don't want to be the annoying friend/neighbor/ relative who is always leaving my problems to them or asking them to help me fix things. Once again I don't want to be a burden.
No comments:
Post a Comment